World Mental Health day

[Notcher]

So here's the thing, I can cope with being responsible for myself I live on my own and can cope fine with everything. and can take accountability (my current boss does an employee review and gave me full marks for accountability and responsibility) . I have made mistakes mainly when I was younger like practicaly most people and learnt from them (don't have a criminal record or anything on that level but I ain't perfect)

Somthing happend what 5-6 years ago now and it just makes me feel angry too the point were a couple of times a week I'm literally shaking in anger and it's been noticed by 4 strangers so far this year who have asked me if I'm allright, I have just told them it's OK I'll sort it out myself.

The stupid thing is I understand that no1 and nothing is ever perfect and there is a lot worse out there, and that we can all be prone to hypocrisy and yet I still can't shake it 5 years on its so silly.

There's something that jumped out at me here and i hope you don't mind me asking just to clarify something, obviously I totally understand if you'd rather not.

When you say you start shaking during the week, does that physical shaking response come after directly becoming angry/frustrated about your incident? Is it possible that when you've had these physical responses you have mistakenly associated to the issue and assumed it's anger?

Physical shaking or tremors could be neurological but they can be caused by medication, toxins and liver or kidney damage. It's very commonly linked to stress anxiety and fatigue.





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[Ilson]

There's something that jumped out at me here and i hope you don't mind me asking just to clarify something, obviously I totally understand if you'd rather not.

When you say you start shaking during the week, does that physical shaking response come after directly becoming angry/frustrated about your incident? Is it possible that when you've had these physical responses you have mistakenly associated to the issue and assumed it's anger?

Physical shaking or tremors could be neurological but they can be caused by medication, toxins and liver or kidney damage. It's very commonly linked to stress anxiety and fatigue.





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Don't smoke, don't drink, in my early 40ssleep normal so I doubt it, I know what your getting at though.

It's just in the front of my head some days then I get angry about it, then it's like rage shaking, then I calm down after 5 mins. Yet every other area of my life I can cope with and I'm content.

 

[Notcher]

Don't smoke, don't drink, in my early 40ssleep normal so I doubt it, I know what your getting at though.

It's just in the front of my head some days then I get angry about it, then it's like rage shaking, then I calm down after 5 mins. Yet every other area of my life I can cope with and I'm content.

The mind is a fragile thing mate. It does sound like the incident has caused a trauma and it's not been dealt with. As you are someone that has always been able to deal with challenging situations and difficulties on the past and always handled it, you probably just assumed you'll handle this too and get through it like you've always managed to previously. It's quite common for that to happen and everyone has a breaking point or something hits them they never saw coming.

This next part is vital important so please make sure you do it for your sake. My concern is the time that 5 years has passed since the event. If you are still experiencing symptoms now then it becomes likely that you will be diagnosed with PTSD.

In short mate, do not f*** about with this now. Get yourself in to see someone about it, you have obviously recognised that something isn't right, and the details you've given point to the above. To be honest pal, you've already done the hard part which is recognising it and initially reaching out on here, so please take the next steps.


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[Gyros Peter]

The mind is a fragile thing mate. It does sound like the incident has caused a trauma and it's not been dealt with. As you are someone that has always been able to deal with challenging situations and difficulties on the past and always handled it, you probably just assumed you'll handle this too and get through it like you've always managed to previously. It's quite common for that to happen and everyone has a breaking point or something hits them they never saw coming.

This next part is vital important so please make sure you do it for your sake. My concern is the time that 5 years has passed since the event. If you are still experiencing symptoms now then it becomes likely that you will be diagnosed with PTSD.

In short mate, do not f*** about with this now. Get yourself in to see someone about it, you have obviously recognised that something isn't right, and the details you've given point to the above. To be honest pal, you've already done the hard part which is recognising it and initially reaching out on here, so please take the next steps.


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This strikes me as good advice, and in my case trying to deal with a similar sounding issue alone resulted in a lot more time cycling through that same issue.

Think I could have been free from it if I'd have found that help* earlier, and it was something I'd discussed with close friends. Sometimes it takes a professional, and there's nothing really to lose from it.

* What really helped me was regression therapy, which came about almost accidentally when the person I was doing a course of CBT with decided to have a play with it. Bless her - her solution was to throw enough shit at me in terms of both treatment and diagnosis that something might stick, and despite leaving that course of therapy with about 150 different things wrong with me (new one every week and never actually nailed it!) that one thing allowed me to see something that had eaten me for years in a completely different way... and freedom!

 

[I'm Red Till Dead]

The mind is a strange thing. I was watching the local news the other day and there was a woman on who had been flooded in the recent past and she was saying that she relives the feelings every time it rains. For me it's a lesser but similar thing. 20 years ago when I lived in London I had a leak in my roof I put containers in place while I got someone to fix it. As I lay in bed I would hear the drip drip as the water came through the roof. I got someone in to fix it. It didn't, so I got them back and still it didn't stop it. I got someone else in and it stopped for a while then started again drip, drip. Just before I moved I managed to finally get it fixed. The worst part of this was that I couldn't fix the problem myself where most things I could.

I had more leak problems some years after moving into the next house, first on the front roof - I replaced it, then the back roof twice. I've now replaced that. too

Despite having the roofs at the front and back completely replaced I still get anxious whenever It rains and I'm trying to sleep because I'm listening to see if I can hear water dripping in. Despite knowing there should be almost zero chance of water coming in I'm still uncomfortable.

When I was young and we'd come out to the coast I used to love to lie in the caravan and listen to the rain. I don't think I could sleep in a caravan in the rain now.

As I said our brains are strange things. If I can get anxious about that I'm sure that it isn't so strange that you could have problems with your past experiences.

 

[Gyros Peter]

* What really helped me was regression therapy, which came about almost accidentally when the person I was doing a course of CBT with decided to have a play with it. Bless her - her solution was to throw enough shit at me in terms of both treatment and diagnosis that something might stick, and despite leaving that course of therapy with about 150 different things wrong with me (new one every week and never actually nailed it!) that one thing allowed me to see something that had eaten me for years in a completely different way... and freedom!

Ha, listening to the below (which I wrote about that whole therapy experience - it's not particularly positive but remember that one part helped me pretty profoundly) reminded me that the therapist actually got upset as I was laughing during the regression therapy that helped. I think she either expected a different response or thought I was laughing at her. Whatever, it helped (and I still like the track):

https://therapyinterferingbehaviour.bandcamp.com/track/concerning-the-working-alliance

 

[BryanRoy22]

I once choked on a biscuit at work in my 20s because I was so stressed that day and stopped swallowing food for 2 weeks straight. I lost over 2 stone in weight in that time and looked absolutely awful. I had to build up the confidence to go at it again and learn to swallow without having a panic attack (I would put food in my mouth, freeze up, start shaking, and spit it out) because I was avoiding that traumatic experience happening again.

My mind began to associate food with fear/danger. My amygdala went into overdrive when I looked at food. It was like the feeling someone might get when they see a snake or a spider. The mind can create all sorts of scenarios and develop complexes almost on the spot. I cannot tell you how depressing it is to not be able to do the basics of what every human should be able to enjoy.

I was eating normally again until I developed pockets in my tonsils (holes) where food would get stuck and I could feel the lumps of food in the back of my tonsils with no way to remove them. This caused tonsil stones which I would eventually cough up (very nasty). Anyway, that was affecting my mental health and swallowing so badly again that I was able to get my tonsils removed in my early 30s. Not the most pleasant operation for an adult and the recovery was like having tonsillitis x200 in pain. I'd sleep for 1 hour at best before the throbbing pain began again.

Nowadays, whenever I am really stressed, I go back to these incidents in my mind and I struggle to eat. People often overeat when they're stressed but I'm the opposite. I freeze up and don't think I'll be able to swallow without something getting stuck. I then overthink to the point where I can't swallow my saliva and will start choking on that. Obviously you need to be relaxed to swallow so I force myself to try to be relaxed but that makes me even more anxious.

It's shite but what does give me hope and positivity is watching youtube videos of people who have gone through similar things. And that's the key in all of this, not feeling alone or like you are the only one struggling or going through a certain situation. Because that's what happens in our own heads; we isolate ourselves thinking someone might not understand or think we are crazy and then it spirals further downhill. It's easier said than done in this day and age, but relaxation is key. That means switching off but not trying too hard to do it. Relaxing should be natural too. Like most other things we do on a daily basis.

Anyway, that was just for anyone else who might have had a similar experience.

 

[isaacs]

Amazing what the Amygdala is capable of, truly amazing. Its like a finely tuned car alarm that each and every one of us possess, and rely on, to survive otherwise without it we'd just walk in front of oncoming traffic - but when it fluctuates slightly out of tune it can have debilitating consequences.
Personally i'm still, still....re-learning how to navigate my life without having a panic attack after the Covid restrictions were lifted. Turns out that displaying a worldwide message of "Stay Home, Stay Safe" isn't a great mix to people like myself who at one point suffered with Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia. That is exactly the message i had to work through therapy to get rid of when i first suffered from it.

I developed it after a monster Hash session in 1999 in which i had something very close to a psychotic episode by doing too much at once. Once i found how life changing CBT therapy was in 2008 i was a changed man, i even went on to study psychotherapy such was my determination to make sure that nobody else find themselves in the position that i was in from 99-07, a time were you didn't dare mention mental health.
And yet here i am, out and about yes but my life is still restricted compared to February 2020, i've improved a lot but the frustration of knowing what to do, having the toolbox to gradually expose and guide myself through it like i did many times in my adult life yet *only* gettting so far after so long has been an incredible experience in itself to go through.
I used to run Anxiety and Stress courses for teenagers that i teach music to, and now i'm back at school learning how to do it myself again - if i didn't laugh

For BryanRoy22 - i adore the Cloughie quote that has gotten me through so many things over the years, simple but ... just the right man with the right words to keep me on balance

"You can't do anything to the best of your ability, unless you relax. Nobody can. Whether its sex, job, driving a car, whatever - you've got to relax, then it oozes out of you" - Brian Clough

 

[Ilson]

For what it's worth the anger is still there but it's not quite as bad and the shaking has stopped ever since I posted here so maybe I did need to speak about it, like I said in my original post I understand I'm responsible for me and I try to rely on others as little as possible hence why I never spoke about it before. I don't believe in using people like punchbags because there human with problems as well.

 

[donny]

For what it's worth the anger is still there but it's not quite as bad and the shaking has stopped ever since I posted here so maybe I did need to speak about it, like I said in my original post I understand I'm responsible for me and I try to rely on others as little as possible hence why I never spoke about it before. I don't believe in using people like punchbags because there human with problems as well.

Its difficult.
I spent the best part of 20 years telling myself I was OK before everything went pop. I'd rather have sought out help earlier, as I'm sure my mind wouldn't be in the shit state it is now.

I've said to others on here, the most difficult part for anyone, males especially, is admitting there is an issue. Your friends, colleagues and others may have noticed that something isn't right, and are worried about mentioning it to you.
You've done the best thing, even if its to a bunch of people who don't know you.
Now, the difficult bit, get to the doctors. If you feel you can't do it on your own, take a friend, family member, or someone you trust, they can tell the doctor exactly what is going on (I do this even now, it helps massively, as I don't feel the pressure to talk if I don't want to, and my doctor is great). Medication may work, therapy may work, everyones process is different, but, remember, you are not alone in your journey.

 

[Strummer]

It’s OK to not be OK.

And if you want to talk, or vent, we’re here for you.