I started putting Rocka's story in verse, but realising it could end up nearly as long as his book I thought I'd better stop at the point where he joined the fair. :O)
The legend of Gaff Lad Gary
A virgin wannabe fairground Gaff Lad
Worked in a cobblers (God, isn't that sad)
He'd dream of fairgrounds every night
And colour his walls with posters bright.
He'd sought a job as a signwriter
Which could have made his sad life brighter
Taking on the role of a devil
The man said, "Got a maths 'O' level"
Poor Gary, who's answer was a no,
Heard, "You can't do signs without an 'O'"
Gary, seeing his prospects hobbled
Ended up in that shop that cobbled
One day the fun fair came to his town
So seeking a job he headed on down
When challenged he choked (oh, what the f*ck!)
Said that he liked the art on the truck.
Asked by the fair man if he could paint
Young Gary, shocked, came, all over feint.
Yes, he said and did quickly depart
Soon to return with arms full of art.
Liking what they'd seen they asked the kid
To paint on their lorry 'Hissing Sid."
"From now on Rembrandt he'll be known
And he's gonna be one of our own"
Hey Rocka, did you ever look in G-Force down Hockley when they did rockabilly inspired stuff in the early '80s?