Master Yates
John Robertson
1. Criminal record as a minor
2. Unbreakable belief the accent sounds cool
3. Force an even stronger accent when "abroad" (outside Liverpool)
4. Own at least 1 shell suit.
5. Moustaches (highly desirable but not a deal breaker)
6. Mistaken belief that everyone else around the country loves Scousers, when in fact the opposite is true
7. Perma-victim with no sense of responsibility at all
8. Gets in games without a ticket
9. Unemployed
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