Lyttle Des
Youth Team
After a busy night of love-making to his 22-year-old supermodel wife, Pleat wakes up bright and early at 3.20pm ready for a busy day of transfer negotiations.
He arrives at the City Ground at 4.00pm, just as the other staff members are eagerly anticipating getting away and looking forward to a sip on their first pint of the evening.
"Morning Sandra" He says to the receptionist as he walks in.
"My names Geraldine" the receptionist replies, but it falls on deaf ears as Pleat is already making his way to his office. He arrives at his office and, for a quick morale boost, looks at himself in the mirror, gives himself a little wink before describing himself as "Looking gooooooood."
He then notices on his desk, Billy Davies has left a list of transfer targets that he wants signed next to a framed picture of legendery ITV anchorman Steve Ryder. After kissing Ryder's face and declaring "I love you Stevie," Pleat gets out his little black book of contacts and proceeds in making phonecalls.
"Hello is that Dominoes?...Smashing. I'd like a 12-inch pepperoni, with a side order of beans, coleslaw and a 2 litre bottle of coke. How much will that be?...£13.95?! You should be wearing a mask and a striped jumper. Send it to the usual address."
An hour passes and after demolishing his breakfast and the button on his trousers burst, it dawns on David that he must get these transfer deals done, so he makes his first buisness call of the day.
"Hello? This is David Pleat. Right, I wont beat around the bush, I want to sign your centre-half Matt Mills. We'll go no higher than two-million. I don't want any bull, just a straight-forward yes or no. So what d'ya say?"
"Erm, I think you've got the wrong number Mr.Pleat, this is Dominoes Pizza."
A rather embarresed Pleat offers his apologies, before ordering a a 12-inch pepperoni, with a side order of beans, coleslaw and a 2 litre bottle of coke.
Back to buisness. "Hello, is that John Ryan?"
"Yes."
"David Pleat here. I'm interested in signing your defender Bear Grylls. Now, I'm not going to mess abou..."
"Erm, Mr. Pleat. Do you mean Matt Mills?"
"Are you making fun of me Ryan?!"
"No no, It's just that you called him Bear Grylls and..."
"Listen 'ere, if David Pleat wants to sign bloody bear grylls, he'll sign bloody Bear Grylls. I'm not going to stand for being spoken to like that. Deals off."
After this rather demoralising attempt at concluding a transfer deal, Pleat decides that it's time he called it a day and went back home, whilst his supermodel wife is in London shopping in Harrod's on Pleat's Gold card.
Ater enjoying his tea (a 12-inch pepperoni, with a side order of beans, coleslaw and a 2 litre bottle of coke) Pleat turns in to bed and the next day the cycle continues, but this time a deal falls through for Paul McKenna.
He arrives at the City Ground at 4.00pm, just as the other staff members are eagerly anticipating getting away and looking forward to a sip on their first pint of the evening.
"Morning Sandra" He says to the receptionist as he walks in.
"My names Geraldine" the receptionist replies, but it falls on deaf ears as Pleat is already making his way to his office. He arrives at his office and, for a quick morale boost, looks at himself in the mirror, gives himself a little wink before describing himself as "Looking gooooooood."
He then notices on his desk, Billy Davies has left a list of transfer targets that he wants signed next to a framed picture of legendery ITV anchorman Steve Ryder. After kissing Ryder's face and declaring "I love you Stevie," Pleat gets out his little black book of contacts and proceeds in making phonecalls.
"Hello is that Dominoes?...Smashing. I'd like a 12-inch pepperoni, with a side order of beans, coleslaw and a 2 litre bottle of coke. How much will that be?...£13.95?! You should be wearing a mask and a striped jumper. Send it to the usual address."
An hour passes and after demolishing his breakfast and the button on his trousers burst, it dawns on David that he must get these transfer deals done, so he makes his first buisness call of the day.
"Hello? This is David Pleat. Right, I wont beat around the bush, I want to sign your centre-half Matt Mills. We'll go no higher than two-million. I don't want any bull, just a straight-forward yes or no. So what d'ya say?"
"Erm, I think you've got the wrong number Mr.Pleat, this is Dominoes Pizza."
A rather embarresed Pleat offers his apologies, before ordering a a 12-inch pepperoni, with a side order of beans, coleslaw and a 2 litre bottle of coke.
Back to buisness. "Hello, is that John Ryan?"
"Yes."
"David Pleat here. I'm interested in signing your defender Bear Grylls. Now, I'm not going to mess abou..."
"Erm, Mr. Pleat. Do you mean Matt Mills?"
"Are you making fun of me Ryan?!"
"No no, It's just that you called him Bear Grylls and..."
"Listen 'ere, if David Pleat wants to sign bloody bear grylls, he'll sign bloody Bear Grylls. I'm not going to stand for being spoken to like that. Deals off."
After this rather demoralising attempt at concluding a transfer deal, Pleat decides that it's time he called it a day and went back home, whilst his supermodel wife is in London shopping in Harrod's on Pleat's Gold card.
Ater enjoying his tea (a 12-inch pepperoni, with a side order of beans, coleslaw and a 2 litre bottle of coke) Pleat turns in to bed and the next day the cycle continues, but this time a deal falls through for Paul McKenna.
