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Thread: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

      
  1. #1
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    Default The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    I've read countless threads on this forum stretching for years and I think I have analysed enough to point out exactly what we had when on a winning run and I think I can put these things into bullet points

    - panache, a word used a lot, I personally thought it was something I could eat. I was wrong, it's vital for our staff to have one for success

    - an "out" thread, historically most of the people with dedicated threads to slating them have gone on to do well, nobody knows how or can explain what was done well but are seen as immovable objects in the forest world who are incredible and would have single handily propelled us to the third star see Gued, Billeh and SOD

    - Fluid, any type be it a descriptive word for passing or the lack of fluid to stop the pesky cardiff players from towelling down the ball

    - a robotic referee, one who unlike every registered ref from here to anderlecht has a undeniable hatred towards forest

    - a non increasing wage, abdoun went from 10k a week to 50 in 3 pages, disgusting

    - sisu, either an object or Zinedine Zidane's spanish cousin

    - UKIP, the answer to all of our issues

    - alex mcliesh, the only time in history LTLF has been united with an opinion on a manager

    - that 13 year old dogtits spotted on FIFA with 99 potential rating on his haircut

    - the DM we've been looking for for years, he isn't actually a DM just someone who plays in midfield and when he's not scoring screamers we can claim he's not because he holds the ball well and dictates play better than Vladmir Putin

    - nous, tactical (lack of)- the given word should any football fan decide the manager has got it tactically wrong, but can't explain why.


    There. The LTLF guide to instant success.

    Last edited by Carlos; 03-03-15 at 22:06.

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  3. #2
    It's all about mid-table...
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)




  4. #3
    Senior Curmudgeon
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    What about the 12 year old who should be playing first team football?


  5. #4
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    Added it wes. I'll add anymore people think I've missed


  6. #5
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    /forum

    We shall meet again before long to march to new triumphs - Giuseppe Garibaldi | vivit post funera virtus - Emprorer Tiberius

  7. #6
    Where's me hammer?
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    We should sign Richard

    We dont need a 20 goal a season man because the midfield will score all the goals to send us up....


  8. #7
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    Languidity - a must have in the team to allow us to praise them when good and allow for a perfectly made scapegoat when shit


  9. #8
    Senior Doom Monger
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos View Post
    Added it wes. I'll add anymore people think I've missed
    Nust be able to play left back
    Must be black and speedy
    Must not go sideways/backwards or hoof it - god forbid


  10. #9
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    - also must only ever love forest, not ever allowed to further his career by moving on to pastures new higher up, see also: "benchwarmer"


  11. #10
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    Default The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    - if name sounds exotic he simply must bang in 4 on his debut otherwise he will be dubbed a signing made behind the managers back or a foreign dud who has been playing in a league with considerably less class than the 2nd tier of English football, he will be given time to prove himself though - 7 minutes at the end of a game we are loosing or have comfortably won.


  12. #11
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    Judicious bowel movements


  13. #12
    Left Winger
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    Sign Barry Cogan.

    „I believe in socialism because it seems more humanitarian, rather than every man for himself and 'I'm alright jack' and all those arsehole businessmen with all the loot. I made up my mind from viewing society from that angle. That's where I'm from and there's where I've made my decisions from. That's why I believe in socialism“

    — Joe Strummer

  14. #13
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    When any player is out of form he must be immediately sold as "he was always shit anyway" and any personal problems must be discounted as he's on 25k a year so who cares if his Mrs left him.

    Also Any good player who isnt world class or has any bad points to his game should be sold when a messily bid is made for them, because they are not going to improve so *Insert flair player* can take over as they're amazing 1 game on 10.


  15. #14

    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    We need to press more. We need to work on our pressing game. We have outpressed them all over field. I am impressed with the way we pressed.


  16. #15
    Senior Doom Monger
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    Quote Originally Posted by chriscl View Post
    Sign Barry Cogan.
    More chance of signing Alma Cogan.


  17. #16
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    Let us never forget fujkin g wot karate.


  18. #17
    lol
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    bastard, knew you would add me. But im not sure how i would bring success.

    -Forest need to add more "viscosity" to their game.


  19. #18
    lol
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    also, not 13.


  20. #19
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    We need players who can smell the history.


  21. #20
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    A scapegoat, to relieve the other 10 players on the field of any blame during/following a disappointing result.


  22. #21
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    We need 'Forest people', they understand the club. Brian Clough was a 'Forest person'. So was Stan Collymore, he understood the club so well that he had to leave and play with his mates at Liverpool while earning a vast wedge of cash every week.

    Rafik Djebbour was not a Forest person. He had to leave and play with his mates in Greece while earning a vast wedge of cash every week.


  23. #22
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    We clearly need mark Warburton or Hollaway


  24. #23
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    We seem to need a bastard now. Someone to stick a rocket up the delicate players backsides


  25. #24
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos View Post
    We seem to need a bastard now. Someone to stick a rocket up the delicate players backsides
    Mario Balotelli? He was useful with a firework.


  26. #25
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    Default Re: The Secret to Success (according to LTLF)

    you missed the FUCJINH G WOT KARATE


 

 

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