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Thread: Carlo's match day diet thread

      
  1. #1
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    Default Carlo's match day diet thread

    It's clear that the volume and number of kids that Carlos 'drops off at the pool' on matchday at half time materially affects Forest results. Every game he's had the urge for a purge on 45 minutes has turned a first half struggle into 90 minutes of Forest glory, witness the trouncing of Reading Ladies on their home field today. We need to make sure this turdology triumph run keeps rolling. As well as the Richard the Thirds.

    I find that the road to a good dump starts with a bowl of All Bran first thing, though some swear by a Friday night sweat inducing curry, possibly including finishing off the remnants (stored in the fridge overnight, safety first right?). We need to keep Carlos in the dream arse-scream team. If you gwot kno karate about the farty, what do you recommend for essens that will make his ass go wass at the 45 minute mark?

    Last edited by TheEastIsRed; 28-02-15 at 17:55.

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  3. #2
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Who's carlo?


  4. #3
    Left Winger
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Epic snappage.

    „I believe in socialism because it seems more humanitarian, rather than every man for himself and 'I'm alright jack' and all those arsehole businessmen with all the loot. I made up my mind from viewing society from that angle. That's where I'm from and there's where I've made my decisions from. That's why I believe in socialism“

    — Joe Strummer

  5. #4
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    How I misspelt your name fuck knos Carlos. Blame it on the beeries!


  6. #5
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    How many 'ASSists' has Carlos had since Dougie took over?


  7. #6
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    How long can I keep this up for? It's a lot of pressure on me and the andrex


  8. #7
    Left Winger
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    No to mention the plumbing.


  9. #8
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Just don't try too hard Carlos, we don't want you having a rectal prolapse. Having your guts swinging at bllock level is beyond the call of duty.


  10. #9
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    The injury crisis is a worry, one misplaced push could spell disaster


  11. #10

    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Smoking makes you need a dump, he should start smoking.


  12. #11
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    BBC NEWS NOTTINGHAM 28th February 2015 17:05 PM

    FOREST FAN'S ARSE FALLS OFF DURING MID-MATCH EVACUATION

    "It was horrible", said Carlos (25). "I just went for a half time log out, it was like the aftermath of a session on Shippos, like they say 'when the bottom falls out of your world, drink Shippos and watch the world fall out of your bottom. Felt like I was Captain of a sinking ship, shouting 'everybody out, women and children first'. There were a lot of kids in that pool I can tell you." Carlos was admitted to QMC suffering from excessive anal eruption. "It's touch and go" said the lead nurse, Doris. "Though I'm not fucking touching that."

    Colin Fray is 53.

    Last edited by TheEastIsRed; 28-02-15 at 18:10.

  13. #12
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Every Friday night from now on. You know what to do Carlos





  14. #13
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos View Post
    Who's carlo?
    Do You have a prolific shitting Italian relative?.


  15. #14

    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Shite thread.


  16. #15
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Quick read of this should keep Carlos and team going for the playoffs.......��

    http://http://healthyeating.sfgate.com/foods-eat-healthy-bowel-movements-1754.html


  17. #16
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Carlos is goatse and I claim my £20

    http://goatse.info

    WARNING DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH OR ARE EASILY OFFENDED


  18. #17
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Knowing our luck with injuries, he'll have a cheese and tomato sandwich and be constipated for 14 weeks........


  19. #18
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Carlos we are 2-1 down! Time to break out the senecot!


  20. #19
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    Default Carlo's match day diet thread

    I can't mate, fucking chicken kiev last night left me with the runs, none left. I'm due on the physios bench next to Reid next week


  21. #20
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Before anyone blames Dougie for his tactics and selection against Charlton let me just say that it's obvious that Carlos downed tools and refused to perform for Dougie. His superstar status has gone to his head.

    I'd suggest Dougie go for Gary Lineker on a free and have him shit all over the pitch.


  22. #21
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Contract issues


  23. #22
    Billy Davies long lost lovechild.
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    Best thread ever.


  24. #23
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    Default Re: Carlo's match day diet thread

    He shits when he wants
    He shits when he wants
    Carlos
    He shits when he wants


 

 

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