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  1. #1
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    Default Plenty of fish and others

    Anybody here had good/bad experiences with these sites. I've found that the common denominator with everyones experience on them is that one batshit mental person you met. So I thought it would be a laugh to share stories of horrific dates gone wrong or someone not looking like you thought they would.

    I had a particularly bad one with a young "well rounded lady" from the meadows. She decided that she didn't want to go out for a date and instead we would stay at hers and get an Indian. After the curry arrived I was tucking in and to my bemusement she hadn't even taken hers out of the box. "I'll have it in a bit" she stated. As I finished mine and began watching Flash Gordon she started to gradually tuck into her lukewarm curry.

    An hour into the film "gordons alive!" She popped out to use the loo. It was only after I saw ming defeated that I thought I'd shout down the hallway to see if she was ok. As I popped my head round the door I noticed she had left the adjacent bathroom door open and was trying to make herself sick. I decided then it was time to text my mum, code red, I'm coming home shortly.

    As I popped the spare naan into a shopping bag with half a bottle of red I had purchased earlier I smelt the familiar odour of cigarettes. Now we couldn't smoke inside her flat so I thought I'd pop my head round the door to see if my escape could be compromised by a quick fag break between curry infested bulimic episodes. It was then I saw her stubbing cigarettes out into her thighs.

    I was out. I was a 21 year old ringing his mum begging to be picked up from the meadows with a half warmed keema naan and a bottle of Jacobs Creek. I was never the same again.


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  3. #2
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Haha! It's a minefield

    Just got the strangest looks in the local laughing at that!


    Edit- saw a glimpse of the face pic but either way just from one picture I am happy I created this thread

    Last edited by Carlos; 05-07-14 at 20:47.

  4. #3
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    I've never been single long enough to try it. I guess I'm just a great catch.

    "Ive only met Andy....last week actually and can confirm he is in 2nd place in sexiest fucker on here stakes." -Barry

  5. #4
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    I missed a friends birthday for an internet date. Wrong decision. Hindsight, great

    Last edited by Spaceman; 05-07-14 at 20:55.
    I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. - Ghandi

  6. #5
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos Spicy-Weiner View Post
    Haha! It's a minefield

    Just got the strangest looks in the local laughing at that!
    If you play the game as a single man you can get some proper action....

    He did tell me about this one time this bloke contacted him to see if he wanted to shag his wife while he filmed it, being the lad he is he agreed, got the train to fallowfield in manchester knocked on the door the bird and bloke were sound although he said the pictures were about 10 years old, so after shit loads of wine hes doing the bird from behind while its being filmed and the bloke kept going in for real close close ups, and starts pushing him in on his back, he thinks sexy thoughts and spunks being bagged up, only for the bloke to pick the jonny up after my mates put it on the bedside table and start chewing it.... My mate said he was heaving and was out the door and flagging a taxi down as fast as he could, didn't put him off though the dirty fuck.


  7. #6
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Fantastic. My mate had a bird message him off the cuff in Yeovil simply saying "get yourself to tesco buy some lube and come round here and take me from behind" I've never seen him move quicker. He spent the night dropping anchor in poo bay. It was only after the idiot added her on Facebook that made him realise to his absolute horror he had nobbed our watch chiefs daughter in the wrong un.


  8. #7
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    Amazing!


  9. #8
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Quote Originally Posted by LAndy! Veldwijk View Post
    Amazing!
    Guess who made the brews forever more


  10. #9
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    He got a message off a bloke one day saying this is my address, come at 10am use the side door my bird will be strapped to the bed, come in, fuck her and leave..... So he did, said she was blindfolded and handcuffed to a 4 poster bed on each limb... Said she had his name and an arrow drawn pointing to her gash in lipstick....and "slut"on her head.... He Jumped on did the deed and was back at his desk at 11.


  11. #10
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Quote Originally Posted by Steve Sutton's lazy eye View Post
    He got a message off a bloke one day saying this is my address, come at 10am use the side door my bird will be strapped to the bed, come in, fuck her and leave..... So he did, said she was blindfolded and handcuffed to a 4 poster bed on each limb... Said she had his name and an arrow drawn pointing to her gash in lipstick.... Jumped on did the deed and was back at his desk at 11.
    This guy is an absolute creature!


  12. #11
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    He's certainly a one off, we actually met on a bar stool in a swimming pool in Spain when both on holiday with our seperate mates, just stayed in touch and see each other all the time, we both managed to bag jobs as holiday reps at the same hotel the year after in Greece sharing an apartment so you can imagine some of the shit that went down in that apartment..... Put it this way that bird sucking off 20 odd blokes in the paper this week has nothing on some of the things we saw out there.


  13. #12
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Quote Originally Posted by Steve Sutton's lazy eye View Post
    He's certainly a one off, we actually met on a bar stool in a swimming pool in Spain when both on holiday with our seperate mates, just stayed in touch and see each other all the time, we both managed to bag jobs as holiday reps at the same hotel the year after in Greece sharing an apartment so you can imagine some of the shit that went down in that apartment..... Put it this way that bird sucking off 20 odd blokes in the paper this week has nothing on some of the things we saw out there.
    I can completely understand that my best mate from when I was 13 to this day is still my best friend. He joined the RAF within a week of me joining the navy. Some of the stuff we've seen would never be suitable to any audience


  14. #13
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    I have a bite. A half french drama student. Little wrinkled in the face but seems reasonably sane.

    Review TBC


    Edit- hope may be lost as she just spelt the word "no" as "know"..... Christ its two letters

    Last edited by Carlos; 05-07-14 at 22:18.

  15. #14

    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos Spicy-Weiner View Post
    I have a bite. A half french drama student. Little wrinkled in the face but seems reasonably sane.

    Review TBC


    Edit- hope may be lost as she just spelt the word "no" as "know"..... Christ its two letters

    What did you ask her to do?😃


  16. #15
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Quote Originally Posted by Wes' Organ View Post
    What did you ask her to do?😃
    She may not have made a typo then thinking about it


  17. #16
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos Spicy-Weiner View Post
    I have a bite. A half french drama student. Little wrinkled in the face but seems reasonably sane.

    Review TBC


    Edit- hope may be lost as she just spelt the word "no" as "know"..... Christ its two letters
    Who gives a shit about her spelling, if she can sing on the pink microphone she's in.


  18. #17
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    I never said I wasn't going to!


  19. #18
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Good lord what deviants we have here I used to be a fucker for MSN. Caning Red Strike at 3 in the morning, Champ Mananger 2003 and MSN on the computer taking the mighty Forest to the European cup final while getting some slag from Canada to get her fanny out on the webcam.. 200 Tarts on MSN, Just random slags from chat rooms i visited. Those were the days

    I did meet one bird of Zoosk, Is that still going? Met her at a travel lodge in Mansfield, Was with the Ex at the time so couldn't be close by. Anyhow she was a fucking rotter proper fat and stank of BO. But I had paid for the room in advance so thought fuck it going to get my money worth. I was pissed when we met so didn't think anything was wrong, Fuck me in the morning. Her teeth were fucked, I mean proper fucked. Almost blurted out are you going to share the blackjacks duck? Didn't bother in the end, Gave her a peck and fucked off home. Never again


  20. #19
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Quote Originally Posted by red@rmy View Post
    Good lord what deviants we have here I used to be a fucker for MSN. Caning Red Strike at 3 in the morning, Champ Mananger 2003 and MSN on the computer taking the mighty Forest to the European cup final while getting some slag from Canada to get her fanny out on the webcam.. 200 Tarts on MSN, Just random slags from chat rooms i visited. Those were the days

    I did meet one bird of Zoosk, Is that still going? Met her at a travel lodge in Mansfield, Was with the Ex at the time so couldn't be close by. Anyhow she was a fucking rotter proper fat and stank of BO. But I had paid for the room in advance so thought fuck it going to get my money worth. I was pissed when we met so didn't think anything was wrong, Fuck me in the morning. Her teeth were fucked, I mean proper fucked. Almost blurted out are you going to share the blackjacks duck? Didn't bother in the end, Gave her a peck and fucked off home. Never again
    Ah teeth like cheerios at half arm intervals.. lovely. I ended up meeting up with one I had been talking to as we were both out with friends at the same time. I don't know who the pictures were of but trust me it wasn't of this gruffalo. I spoke to her for a bit out of politeness then left to carry on my night. After a fair few more beers I realized my luck had ran out and it had to be a quarter to two anything will do job. So yes I went back to the gruffalo. I'm quite a skinny lad so me dancing with her felt like I was shifting a fridge. Horrible.


  21. #20
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    My mate once shagged a bird who was shaped like a gambler, no shit.... If you saw her silhouette from behind a wall you'd think on the other side of it you'd be able to drop 50p in it.....no one believed him so he had to bring her out on another date to prove her form.


  22. #21
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    "Your mate" eh? She sounds like she'd cook a great breakfast. Wouldn't share it though


  23. #22
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Got a nibble. Off round to hers in an hour. If I don't post again it's a good one (anything over 4/10 is good for sunday)


    Edit- she is also 37 which to some (captain) is young but to me she could be my mother

    Last edited by Carlos; 06-07-14 at 18:13.

  24. #23
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos Spicy-Weiner View Post
    Got a nibble. Off round to hers in an hour. If I don't post again it's a good one (anything over 4/10 is good for sunday)


    Edit- she is also 37 which to some (captain) is young but to me she could be my mother
    You are going to get eaten alive


  25. #24
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Walking down now. Apprehensive is the best way to describe my current feelings


  26. #25
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    Default Re: Plenty of fish and others

    Knob on, just go for it.


 

 

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