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Thread: Some info for you

      
  1. #1
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    Default Some info for you

    Hi there, Notts fan in peace here.

    I’ve just got back from a trip to Reykjavik and had to tell you about the most surreal thing:

    I caught the National Express to Heathrow from Broadmarsh. I got there nice & early as I wanted to get the best seat for the nearly 4 hour journey. Now for me the best seat on a coach is about 6 rows from the back in an aisle seat. Lots of people like to sit in the front of the coach, with that big panoramic view and a chance to see the road ahead. It might not be the best seat choice in terms of personal safety, however. In the case of head on collisions, passengers sitting in the front will be lucky to survive. By the same token, passengers in the very rear rows are at risk if the coach is rear ended. The safest place to sit is towards the middle. In the case of an accident, a window seat puts you closer to glass shards and there is also a greater chance of getting ejected from the coach. I also have a preference for sitting on the driver’s side of the coach, as should the coach topple or leave the carriageway, there is a higher percentile chance that the coach will land on the opposite side to the driver, killing and maiming many of those sitting along that side of the coach. So I made sure I was one of the first on, smiling knowingly & pitifully at those that had managed to queue jump ahead of me to get either the back row, the seats nearest the front, or more dangerously, those across from the driver.

    As I was there in plenty of time, there was a bit of a wait whilst the coach filled up with fellow passengers making their way to Heathrow as the gateway to whatever exciting and exotic further destinations lay ahead of them. As quite a frequent traveler, I generally pass my time on this journey by fantasizing about where my fellow passengers are headed and for what reason. Was the dark lady in brightly colored dress in seat 5B getting a flight to Nigeria or maybe Cameroon to visit her ageing grandmother? Were the 2 young Chinese girls in 8A & 8B students, heading back home to visit their families whilst the universities were closed for Christmas? Or was the very attractive middle aged olive-skinned woman just two seats in front of me across the aisle, perhaps an emissary from the Free Syrian Army, returning home after rallying for support and funds to continue their fight against oppression? Or maybe even a doctor, qualified in this country, but returning home to Egypt on a humanitarian mission to treat the poor and homeless victims as a result of the Arab Spring uprising? I thought that I could just detect a hint of her very sophisticated perfume and decided that this intriguing lady would be the focus of my fantasies to pass my time for the next 3 or so hours.

    As the scheduled departure time was drawing very close, a very smartly suited & well built middle aged Arabic/Asian gentleman boarded the coach. As he walked along the coach looking for a seat and got closer, I thought he looked familiar and for a moment or two that it was Dev from Coronation Street (or the actor that plays him anyways). He walked up the aisle and seeing the window seat next to me empty – asked if it was free. I stood up and gestured for him take the window seat. He very politely asked if it was possible that he could take the aisle seat and that I take the window seat instead? I declined, explaining that I needed the aisle seat to enable me to keep my left knee straight – a wound incurred whilst capping off a burning oil well after the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait (a half truth!). The gentleman explained that he had vertigo issues and that the view out of the window would aggravate his condition. I didn’t quite believe him (I have a good inbuilt bullshit detector – a gift I developed whilst working in Oman and perfected whilst bartering in the souks of Muscat). I suspected that, like me, his reasons for sitting in the aisle were down to personal safety in the event of a coach crash.

    I persuaded the young man occupying the aisle seat opposite me (probably a ‘no-mark’, but he didn’t smell) to move into the window seat next to me and allow this Arabian gentleman (I’d worked out that he was Arabian rather than Asian through his very distinctive (to me at least) accent and certainly not the actor from Coronation Street) to sit across from me. The gentleman thanked me for being so helpful and understanding and introduced himself to me as Fawaz, I gave him my name and we warmly shook hands. I could tell from his dress and handshake that he was a very westernized Arab (some Islamic cultures are uncomfortable shaking hands with non-Muslims). We talked for nearly the whole journey in a mixture of English and Arabic (I learnt Arabic in my early twenties when I first worked in Oman as they were setting up new oil refineries)

    Our conversation ranged from the beauty of the Persian Gulf and the startling coast of Sur to the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. We exchanged our histories. Me telling him of my work in Oman and how I came to be capping of burning wells in Kuwait. Fawaz, telling me of his family and growing up as the son of a rich businessman in Kuwait. How his father & uncles would take him and his cousins out onto the gulf in a dhow to dive for pearls for fun. He told me his still has the dhow that his father owned, but rarely gets to go out on it now. He did seem very sad when he told me this.

    By now I had worked out who he was. You’d have to be living under a rock in Nottingham, to not know who Fawaz Al-Hasawi was (he hadn’t told me his last name, but I knew). I’m a Notts fan born & bred, but unlike some of my fellow Magpie supporters, I have a fondness for Forest & used to watch both teams in my youth (when it was more affordable). Anyway the conversation turned to our respective journeys. I told him that I now work as a consultant to the Petro-Chemical Industry, and that I was off to Iceland to advise on the site of a new oil refinery that they were looking to build (sorry, I can’t say exactly where – it’s all ‘hush hush). Fawaz told me that he was off to the states for two purposes. He had a relative that was unwell that he wanted to pay his respects to – but his main reason for travelling was to meet with a Chinese billionaire (a bicycle manufacturer) that was interested in some business to do with Nottingham Forest. I don’t know whether this was investment or sponsorship or even to buy the club from Fawaz (he didn’t elaborate & I didn’t want to be rude & pry).

    We then went on to talk about football and I told him of my admiration for Ian McParland from his days as a Notts player & manager. He laughed, and told me that Billy Davies calls McParland “Penfold” as he supposedly looks like the Dangermouse character when he has his glasses on. He also told me that Billy calls him “Dev”. I laughed at this and confessed that I had initially thought that he looked like Dev too. Fawaz took this all in good sport and also told me that in return he called Billy Davies “Jimmy Krankie”. That really made me laugh. I asked how he knew of the Krankies as it’s not the sort of show that you get out on Kuwaiti TV, and he explained that his wife watches re-runs of French & Saunders and that he had seen them on there.

    When we got to Heathrow, we shook hands and said farewell. I really liked Fawaz Al-Hasawi and sensed that he really does enjoy working with Billy Davies, but also sensed that he misses home, and it won’t be long before he returns to Kuwait.
    I caught my plane to Reykjavik, and joy of joys – that intriguing olive skinned lady from the coach was not only on the flight – but sat next to me! But that’s a story for another time...

    Last edited by Mickthemag; 06-12-13 at 13:34. Reason: used spacing (sorry)

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  3. #2
    Who cares Anyway...?
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    That's a seriously long post. Is it worth reading?


  4. #3
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    I thought he looked familiar and for a moment or two that it was Dev from Coronation Street (or the actor that plays him anyways).



    This bit gives it away. Good effort though fella.


  5. #4
    Too School for Cool
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Some info for you - the return key is the big one on the right with the arrow


  6. #5
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    This is brilliant.

    Completely bonkers. But Brilliant


  7. #6
    Who cares Anyway...?
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Well, curiosity got the better of me and I read it. That's three minutes I'll never get back.....


  8. #7
    Who cares Anyway...?
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Quote Originally Posted by Barnfather View Post
    This is brilliant.

    Completely bonkers. But Brilliant
    You have a strange definition of completely brilliant!


  9. #8
    Too School for Cool
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Quote Originally Posted by Mickthemag View Post
    Now for me the best seat on a coach is about 6 rows from the back in an aisle seat. Lots of people like to sit in the front of the coach, with that big panoramic view and a chance to see the road ahead. It might not be the best seat choice in terms of personal safety, however. In the case of head on collisions, passengers sitting in the front will be lucky to survive. By the same token, passengers in the very rear rows are at risk if the coach is rear ended. The safest place to sit is towards the middle. In the case of an accident, a window seat puts you closer to glass shards and there is also a greater chance of getting ejected from the coach. I also have a preference for sitting on the driver’s side of the coach, as should the coach topple or leave the carriageway, there is a higher percentile chance that the coach will land on the opposite side to the driver, killing and maiming many of those sitting along that side of the coach.
    That's got to be one of the most wildly inappropriate things I've ever read on a football forum


  10. #9
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Can someone some this up in 30 words or less


  11. #10

    Default Re: Some info for you

    Sounds legit, I will start learning Mandarin immediately.


  12. #11
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Quote Originally Posted by Redz83 View Post
    That's got to be one of the most wildly inappropriate things I've ever read on a football forum



  13. #12
    Rice 34
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Quote Originally Posted by Army View Post
    Can someone some this up in 30 words or less
    Man has good chat with Fawaz al Hasawi, may not be true, good read either way, a solid 7/10 could be an 8 with some space between paragraphs.

    Zycomm Two Way Radio

  14. #13
    May not be the best moderator on LTLF, but he's In The Top 1
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    Default

    Multi billionaire Fawaz takes bus from Broadmarsh.

    Hmm.

    "This statement is false."

    Quote Originally Posted by willojack View Post
    flagman do me a f***ing favour remove me from this forum

  15. #14
    Swedish Meatball
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    Default

    I love the idea of Fawaz travelling on the National Express!

    It's a fantastic post and I'm not at all bothered about how far fetched it is.


  16. #15
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Quote Originally Posted by Redz83 View Post
    That's got to be one of the most wildly inappropriate things I've ever read on a football forum
    You've not been 'Down the Pub' then?

    The beast is stirring yet again!! :devil:

    it has nothing to do with football or NFFC

  17. #16
    Looking Hairy
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Perfect length paragraphs, excellent prose and a deranged voice clearly shines through the mundane nature of the subject matter.

    A-


  18. #17
    winnits
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    I thought it was good fun


  19. #18
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Take the National Express when your team's in a mess
    It'll make you smile
    All human life is here
    From the feeble old dear to the screaming child
    From the student who knows that to have one of those
    Would be suicide
    To the family man
    Manhandling the pram with paternal pride
    And everybody sings "ba ba ba da..."
    We're going where the air is free
    On the National Express there's a jolly hostess
    Selling crisps and tea
    She'll provide you with drinks and theatrical winks
    For a sky-high fee
    Mini-Skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle
    Back in '63 (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
    But it's hard to get by when your Manager's the size
    Of a small Krankie
    And everybody sings "ba ba ba da..."
    We're going where the air is free
    Tomorrow belongs to me
    When you're Fawaz feeling blue
    With nothing better to do
    Don't just sit there feeling stressed
    Take a trip on the National Express

    As if..........


  20. #19
    Enzo Molinari
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    Default

    Sounds legit


  21. #20
    oopsy daisy!
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Quote Originally Posted by Mickthemag View Post
    I have a good inbuilt bullshit detector
    So do we.


  22. #21
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    #freewotton


  23. #22
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Quote Originally Posted by Flagman View Post
    Multi billionaire Fawaz takes bus from Broadmarsh.

    Hmm.
    My thoughts exactly!




  24. #23
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    Quote Originally Posted by Rigler View Post
    That's a seriously long post. Is it worth reading?
    Notts Fan boards a coach to Heathrow to catch a flight to Reykjavik.

    Fawaz Al-Hawasi sits down next to him. He's catching a flight to the States.

    Fawaz tells Notts County dude he's going to visit the States to pay his respects to a friend as well as meet a Chinese Billionaire regarding Forest.

    The End.

    Seriously though regardless of whether it's true or not that was pretty well written.


  25. #24

    Default Re: Some info for you

    This reminds me of my time in 'Nam.


  26. #25
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    Default Re: Some info for you

    this is the most brilliant yet pointless read i have ever read.
    A+ would read again


 

 

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