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  1. #1
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    Default Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    Why did NASA never send a woman to the Moon?
    because it doesn't need cleaning yet

    lol add your own for us to dissaprove of obviously.

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  3. #2
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    what do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?



    nothing,,, you've already told her twice


  4. #3
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality

    How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Trick question, women can't change anything.

    .k I m
    I m u mm

  5. #4
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    Why did the woman cross the road? Never mind that, what the fuck was she doing out of the kitchen lol


  6. #5
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?

    Men always miss them



    What do you call the useless fatty tissue at the end of the penis?

    A man



    What do you call a man that lost all of his intelligence?

    A widow



    A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?

    Dating children



    Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?

    Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time



    Why do men want to marry virgins?

    They can't stand criticism





  7. #6
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    Quote Originally Posted by Nffc-Girl
    What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?

    Men always miss them



    What do you call the useless fatty tissue at the end of the penis?

    A man



    What do you call a man that lost all of his intelligence?

    A widow



    A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?

    Dating children



    Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?

    Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time



    Why do men want to marry virgins?

    They can't stand criticism


    GET OUT lol lol


  8. #7

    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    What do you do if a women come into the living room barking orders?

    Shorten the chain




    Man runs in the house from work jumps into his chair and screams
    "quick get me a beer before it starts"
    his wife runs to the kitchen gets him a beer then runs back. He necks the beer and shouts again
    "quick get me a beer before it starts"
    she does so again.
    he repeats again "quick get me a beer before it starts"
    his wife quite annoyed by no does so but at a walk.
    then he bellows loudly "quick get me a beer before it starts"
    his very annoyed wife now fed up says
    "No I've had enough of this you coming in every day and bark orders at me I've had enough I'm not having it"
    The man promptly turns around and says
    "Fucking hell its started"


  9. #8
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?

    He controls himself



    Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?

    So men can understand them







  10. #9

    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    this could get nasty... careful kids...


  11. #10
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    why are women shit drivers? because theres no road between the kitchen and the bedroom


  12. #11
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    Why do women wear make up and perfume?

    Because they're ugly and they smell.


  13. #12

    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    Quote Originally Posted by DanR
    Why do women wear make up and perfume?

    Because they're ugly and they smell.
    It sounds like something a 5year old would say.


  14. #13
    winnits
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    Quote Originally Posted by Nffc-Girl
    What do you call a man that lost all of his intelligence?

    A widow
    Presumably you'd called him a widower, since a widow is a lady who has lost her spouse?

    :P


  15. #14
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    Quote Originally Posted by Winnits
    Presumably you'd called him a widower, since a widow is a lady who has lost her spouse?

    :P
    typical woman


  16. #15
    Rice # 42
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    Took the missus out last night.....................................one punch, fucking brilliant*


  17. #16
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick
    Took the missus out last night.....................................one punch, f**king brilliant*
    That absolutely cracked me up!!!


  18. #17
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick
    Took the missus out last night.....................................one punch, f**king brilliant*
    lol lol lol lol


  19. #18
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    The Wife's not happy with me cos I wouldn't open the car door for her....

    Its not my fault....

    I just panicked and swam to the surface


  20. #19
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality

    Quote Originally Posted by redrob
    The Wife's not happy with me cos I wouldn't open the door for her....

    Its not my fault....

    I just panicked and swam to the surface
    dont get it??


  21. #20
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality

    Quote Originally Posted by Strum
    dont get it??
    Seriously?

    The car crashed into some water!


  22. #21
    Belle
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)


    How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?


    One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.


  23. #22
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

    After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

    The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."



  24. #23
    Belle
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?


    Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.


  25. #24
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality

    What's the first thing a woman does when she gets back from the battered women's clinic?
    The god damned dishes if she knows what's good for her.

    Why do women get married in white?
    So they match the kitchen appliances!

    Whats the difference between your wife and your dog?
    Walking the dog is relaxing.

    What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
    A battery has a positive side.

    A man is driving along in his car when he suddenly gets pulled over by the police, the man pokes his head out of the window and says "what seems to be the problem officer?" The cop looks bluntly at him and says "are you aware that a woman fell out of your car about 2 minutes ago?" The man lets out a sigh "thank fuck for that I thought I had gone deaf!"

    Why don't women wear watches?
    There's a clock on the stove.

    Why do women have short feet?
    So they can stand closer to the stove.

    Why don't women have a penis?
    So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes." The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here." Phoof! There is a flash of light and a bright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.

    What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why.

    What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
    Pregnant.

    How is a woman like a laxative?
    They both irritate the crap out of you.

    Woman inspires us to great things...and prevents us from achieving them. (Dumas)

    What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?
    You hit her.

    How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None, let the bitch cook in the dark!

    Women are cute and cuddly - every man should own one.

    How are women and high school phone policies similar?
    Because they can be seen but not heard.

    Why do women live longer than men?
    Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking.

    A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?
    The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

    Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

  26. #25
    Belle
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    Default Re: Sexist Jokes (merely here to be condoned in the interests of gender equality)

    What did God say after creating man?
    I can do so much better.

    What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
    Any place without a drive-up window.

    What do you call a handcuffed man?
    Trustworthy.

    What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

    What do you call a man with half a brain?
    Gifted.

    What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
    Exchange him.

    What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
    A power failure.

    What should you give a man who has everything?
    A woman to show him how to work it.

    How can you tell when a man is well hung?
    When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

    Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
    Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

    Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
    Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

    Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
    Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

    Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
    Because not one will stop and ask for directions.


 

 

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